Tag Archives: Ben Flajnik

The Bachelor Recap – Episode 8: Chariot or chug, baton or bust, talk or tears, wedding or RUN.

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“You are the company you keep.”

Right?

I mostly agree with this statement. I think in general, the people you surround yourself with can say a lot about you. For example, me and my best girls, we’re all “nuts”. Ha. Seriously though.

But, does the statement still apply when it comes to family? Is it possible to be a completely sane, normal functioning human but have a family that belongs on a TLC after school special “The Terror Within”? Or what if you’re parents seem lovely but you’re completely cray … Teenage angst? Black sheep? Forgotten child?

In any case, the Bach leading ladies were on a quest to prove that they really are “the one” for Benny Boy with aid from a few family members. What we found was one cool family, one adorable Dad, one still crazy girl and a one sure fire send home.

Lindzi’s date started with … wayyyyyy too much makeup.

Tone it down, Lindzi!

Seriously, the girl has got to tone it down. She is so pretty! About 10 layers of makeup and 40 minutes less a week in the tanning bed and she’d be golden (no pub intended).

Lindzi also rehashed her “Welcome to dumpsville, population you” story. Now, let’s discuss this. I seriously thought that was just her shtick to get on the show. I mean, come on… WHAT adult would EVER say something like that? It’s impossible. So when she opened up about the fact that she thought she was going to marry Mr. Dumpsville I was floored. Completely shocked. HOW could a normal, sane, pretty young woman be with someone capable of such idiocy and more importantly, WHY would you ever admit it?

She also admitted that Dumpsville was her only ever boyfriend, which means she’ll probably blow it on the fantasy date. “That or Ben’s going to faint when her entire face rubs off on her pillow.” – Jess, on the sole inhabitant of dumpsville.

If the girls are to be judged by their parents, then Lindzi redeemed herself big time. Her folks seem fun loving, wild and RICH. Just an everyday chariot race to start the evening off. Followed by Smores and lots of drinks meant that this date was more fun then most of Ben’s. Where can Mr. Harry Cox (YES, that is her father’s name) sign up to be the next Bachelor? WHERE.

If  you watched the show last night, you’ll know that Kacie B was just DOOMED from the get go. Her marching band, baton-twirling entrance made us all cover our eyes in terror.

@inanutshellca "I can't speak. I feel like this is a scene from drop dead gorgeous." - @JessHuddles #thebachelor

She then proceeded to yap like a small dog when she flung herself into Ben’s arms, despite how it rained on her parade. Literally. It was raining and she legit brought a parade. Imbecile.

The beginning portion of the date did however allow us to contemplate what kind of atrocious mane of a head would be created if Ben and Kacie were to breed. Shudder. We think this likeness of Ben pretty much sums it up:

If the hair, marching band and overall lackluster performance of the opening part of Kacie B’s date didn’t solidify her limo ride home, her parents definitely put the seal on that envelope. Holy mother of Mary.

This. is. a. disaster.

Were they ever on Team “Loathe Ben” … from her Mom telling him they didn’t want them to live together after engagement … to her Dad just flat out disagreeing with the whole scenario, this date was more awkward, less …anything positive. Ben handled it well tho: “I have feelings for your daughter andalsosomeoftheotherwomen.” Just DYING to get outta there.

As always, our male correspondent @Bakkesy summed it up best:

@Bakkesy: Just apple juices and long, weird talks at the Kacie B household. #getmeoutofhere @BenFlajnik

Overall the B family was just brutal.

@inanutshellca “Wow. I completely foresee Kacie B blowing up her family home after this.” – @JessHuddles #thebachelor

Of course the real main event was finding out what kind of creatures Courtney spawned from. No wonder they kept this hometown date for last, we were getting antsy about it four minutes into the show.

@inanutshellca Waiting with bated breath to see the cyborgs that are Courtney’s parents. #thebachelor

But one more date stood in our way, Nicki’s. Can’t say we were made about it at all. Nicki’s date was fun and cute and NORMAL. Despite coming from a divorced family, her parents came together to make Ben feel special and welcome. Nicki’s Dad made our room full of Daddy’s girl die with his adorable speech about protecting his daughter. And so, Nicki sails into first place as our favourite and … NICKI’S DAD WINS MVBD (Most Valuable Bach-Daddy). Way to go you soft hearted, weeping, rock of a man.

 @Bakkesy Not a dry eye in the place with @jamesmay021 #Lyon #Thebachelor

“If the Dad is crying do they lose extra points?”  – Meg, on being ruthless in our #BachPool.

Cyborg time.

Mom-myyy?

Despite the fact that Courtney’s dad wore a terrible argyle vest, Courtney’s mom looked like a female Bruce Jenner and Courtney’s sister openly talked about the skinny dipping date in front of her parents … the whole fam was borderline normal. It was upsetting. Seriously. I could not WAIT to see what kind of spells they were going to cook up over a cauldron while Ben ate a gingerbread cookie.

But alas, Cray Courtney almost seemed normal for a few minutes … UNTIL. She left the relatively normal fam and decided to venture out on her own to stage a FAKE wedding. WHAT!? If this had happened with any other girl Benny Boy would have ran for the hills. In fact, I was sort of pleased as it was happening because I thought he just might. But, the lovesick little winemaker is clearly enamored with the SUPER intelligent and sweet (please!) model. Yuck. If a fake wedding can’t deter him from this backstabbing brunette, then it’s a done deal. They should have just ACTUALLY performed the wedding right then and there. Shucks.

IS THIS HAPPENING!?

We all let out a sigh of relief to see Ben back in L.A and back in the arms of Chris. B. Harrison. Wish he was a Bachelor option, always knows just what to say … almost like it was scripted.

Just a truly compassionate individual

But, despite deliberations about who was going home it was clear from the first twirl. Bye bye Kacie. Shockingly she showed an incredible amount of class and grace as she said her goodbyes to Ben and left the premises. Only to unleash the FURY when alone in the limo. Poor sweet Kacie B. was dropping f-bombs like it was her job and was not doubt plotting the arson that will take place on her family home. No hearts in the sky with her hands tonight, I’m afraid.

And so ends another thrilling episode of the season and another BachyParty for the books. A family day well spent with our Bach Fam. Nothing brings people closer like blood boiling drama …

#BachPool Standings

Shannon 411
Kate 398
Rhiannon 328
Jess 299
Catherine 293
Meghan 227

To make myself feel better about my dismal standings ... here's Jenna. I miss her. #Jennaiscray

The Bachelor Recap – Episode 5: baseball, birthday suits and blindsides

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It’s pretty clear that the Bachelor-loving nut + friends contingency are pretty competitive right? I mean, we only took an innocent girls night of watching our favourite reality TV show and turned it into a competitive pool, which is seeing friendships strained and almost as many trembling lips in the living room as there are on girls on the show. But, it’s all in good fun right? (not. at. all)

So for a bunch of fiesty ladies yesterday’s Puerto Rico episode was scene after scene of fierceness that would  get the Tyra / Beyoncé’s gears going….

Nikki, FINALLY got a one on one (fist pump) after going weeks with being a group favourite despite making no real interesting moves.  When the date card came are inaugural MVB, Emily, translated the spanish istantly and re-installed our faith in her after she almost sent herself packing last week. Smart girls = legit girls. We salute you.

As Nikki set sail on her date (like actually, she could have used a boat) the skies decided to douse the pair with a heavy rainfall and of course, analogies ensued. Nikki kept a positive attitude though which reminded us why she’s one of our faves. She also managed to not laugh in Ben’s face when they decided to dress authentically and his fadora and white linens had me humming Mambo Number Five for the remainder of the evening …(which is actually a really appropriate Bachelor song if you think about it, new themesong? Step aside David Gray.)

Is that a trumpet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Back at the homestead, the group date was announced leaving one girl to get the last one on one. My sleeper pick – Elyse – who has proved in recent episodes to be more scary and less anything that a man would ever want, gave me a glimmer of hope when she was able to snatch it.

I saw this face in my nightmares last night

Blakely had a mini meltdown, since she hasn’t had a one on one … but didn’t know she was about to be on the best group date of Bachelor history.

“Is she older than the grandma that came on?” Kelly, on Blakely.

The next day was the group date “diamonds are a girls best friend” … which had the players (how appropriate) divide into two teams. That ageless stud of man, Chris Harrison, showed up on a megaphone to announce that the losing team wouldn’t get to go on the second portion of the date.

OH BABY. If we weren’t already on the edge of our seats we are now. Slide tackles, tears, baseball bats, striking out, tears, Ben in a baseball get-up, tears … the Bachelor Gods should win a Golden Globe.

Everyone is having a great time.

Lindzi was selected, by Ben,  to bat for both teams (would Blakely not have been a more appropriate choice – cue lesbian scene from episode one) … which meant she’d get to go on the date either way … definitely hint that she’s a favourite. (got her, yesss.)

We were just thrilled to see that Blakely did not show up in a onesie for baseball, she’s learning. More than just learning she ended up DOMINATING the field and definitely won our MVB(P) award. Most valuable baseball player.

Sweet little Kacie B. didn’t hold back with f-bombs and lots of name calling when the red team seemed to be in despair. We even almost liked Courtney for a second when she said “I didn’t know strippers (Blakely) could play baseball.” … Legit funny, but we still hate you.

Despair in it's most pure form.

If the high stress situation wasn’t enough, I think the soundtrack to JAWS was playing in the background during the game. Despite, Blakely’s stellar performance Jennifer struck out (*foreshadowing, kids*) for the blue team sending them back to the bus (aka cra(z)y train). Blakely fell apart on the ride home, reminiscent of when she cowered behind the luggage in episode two.

oh. hi.

If anyone scored points in MY books during the group date it was Ben who was at the height of his hilarity, calling the game ever-so-appropriately a ‘Batale Royale’ (my fave saying) and made hilarious comments to the camera after Courtney suggested skinny dipping. “Where do I start … The idea to go skinny dipping was brought up … F*!k.”

He also had a tender moment with Kacie B. who was sporting a MEAN Lionel Ritchie Jerry Curl, when he explained that most of the girls he’s dated haven’t loved him back … “It’d be cruel if they flashed that proposal (with Ashley) right now.” – Jess, on pity.

leave the show. find a salon.

Here, in my notes on the show I have: ELYSE SUCKS! written. And I cannot really sum it up much more than that.

She was just atrocious from the beginning, wearing way too much make up and talking about getting married – like, right then and there. on. the. first. date.

Sleeper pick?

You frighten me. Straight up.

More like I-wish-I-could-claim-I-was-asleep-when-I-made-that pick. Despite their ideal date setting (yacht. Helloooo.) It was no surprise when Ben opted not to give her the rose and cast her out into the waves via dingie … our favourite mode of transportation after rejection.

Not to mention it was to the tune of THIS YEAR’S LOVE. Ben Flajnik has ruined this song for everyone. Not only is it the only musical score he knows how to play, it is his soundtrack to every possible life situation. One more time and I’m deleting it from my iTunes.

A wasted Courtney saw her luggage being taken out and pounced on the opportunity to be a slu- by surprising Ben at his dwellings with some wine and little else.

Despite Ben’s reservations … in other words, “Mmmmm”ing like Grover at the prospect, the model triumphed in convincing him to shed his clothes and show off his “butt” (only word in the Cray-Court vocabulary). We’re all pretty sure they did more than just doggy paddle in the waves……………..
Leaving it at that.

"What's her butt" ... literally.

Ginny summed up all of our thoughts when she said, “Die in a fire you sk—k.” Violent, but appropriate. (skunk, obvs. This is a PG website.)

At the rose ceremony we were shocked to see Jamie (where have you BEEN!) get a rose, even though she should have won by default at episode one for being an adorable nurse that raised her whole family. Step up your game, orphan Annie, we need some points from you.

Lindzi got the first rose, and Courtney followed closely behind. “Of course she got a rose, she’s carrying his child,” – Jess, on Courtney.

“Neptune.” – Ginny, on the baby created in the ocean.

Then, despite Emily sinking (water analogy) herself AGAIN and still valiantly trying to tell Ben that Courtney is Cray … he gave her the last rose, shocking everyone (literal gasp) and BLINDSIDING poor Jennifer. She remarkably held it together at first – remember, this is the chick that was dropping the l-bomb after group date number one – before falling apart at the seams and making us wonder if she has asthma. 

I could not find a single picture of Jennifer crying ... probably because it was too horrific for the internet. This paints the scene well, however.

Scenes from the next couple of episodes had our eyes glued and everyone making different predictions as to who Ben will pick. A friend of a friend, who is an avid spoiler reader, said we will be SHOCKED by the outcome … and a flash of a Black Swan dress at the finale has us thinking Courtney might become the future ex-finace of our dapper Mr. Flajnik.

Time will tell!

MVB was a bit of a toss up, but I am awarding it to Nikki for a stellar one on one, keeping her clothes on and her sanity in check. Well done, that’s no easy feat in the Bach World.

Pool standings after week five

Kate – 298 points

Shannon – 269 points

Rhainnon 263 points

Jess – 216 points

Meg AND Cat K – 178 points

… I’m not even going to rant. I am now (tied) for last. It’s hopeless, I’m upset and I am totally requestioning my judge of character … and my life.

The Bachelor Recap – Episode 3: #everyoneiscray

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Well, folks. It can’t get any better than this. Seriously, how are the Bachelor Gods going to top themselves next week? It’s impossible! Last night’s episode saw, someone leave the show of their own volition, a former Bachelor contestant exploding onto the scene, fainting, caged-animal-like anger and all of us losing points by the minute, for tears that were flowing in every direction.

Just a great example of educational television. The lesson: don’t be cray, and if you are, don’t go on National TV.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Emily, who we saw rap (off of cue cards, not freestyle – weak) in the first episode secured one on one date numero uno. While you will see that she quickly rose about a hundred notches in our Bachelor books by the end of the episode, we couldn’t help but start out by detesting hers and Ben’s climb of the San Francisco Bay Bridge.

I would jump off if you told me we were scaling a slope of love.

For once, it was not the girl’s fault, but BEN needed to QUIT IT with the analogies between the bridge and their love life. No, if she makes it to the top of the bridge that does not mean that you will overcome every obstacle in life for ever after. It just means that she is not a WIMP. Cute kiss, but if you mention one more thing about obstacles in life and love, I’m pressing mute.

However, the dinner portion of the evening was adorable and Ben got back into our good books when he said: “My father loved my mother because he thought that she was smarter than him and I, in fact, think you may be smarter than me.” Get. Cuter. Ben.

Jenna. Where are you.

The group date that followed was just downright hilarious. We were really missing Jenna though, who we knew would be just a GEM as the bikini clad girls went down the hill bottom-backwards. Only Jenna, in her wizard costume, obviously, would have been able to pull of the most impressive wipe-out followed by full lip pout.

hiiiiiii.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Brittany secures one on one date number two. Instead of being psychotically ecstatic, like the other girls would be, she actually looks distressed. Emily, the heroine, came through again to boost her confidence and say she thinks they’ll have great chemistry. So. NICE. Wow. She’s allowed to come to our Bachy Party next week.

But Brittany can’t take the heat, or more likely “She misses GRANDMA!” as Jess pointed out, and decides to go home before the date even takes place.

Not pleased.

Good move, Brit, we support your choice to not take time away from the other ladies. Grandma would be proud, even though she probably hates you for giving up her dream man. Cut out of the will, for sure.

But before she exits, she manages to cry, making Meghan lose an additonal five points, not to mention another player. “So minus five, you sl—” (#BachPool or die)

Rachel secured the group date rose while we pondered Kacie B’s sanity. She is sweet for sure, but we definitely think she has the potential to be a “points resetter” and blurt out she loves Ben before the hometown date. Secretly I’m praying for this, she’s not one of my girls. Booya.

Lindzi got the consolation one on one date after Brittany’s departure. We were originally rooting for the cowgirl, but her caked on makeup face made us cringe a little. Not as much as when their date turned into the mother of all AWKWARD activities when they solo danced in front of a band.

The band is crying.

“This is my worst. nightmare. They didn’t even DRINK! I hope that ice cream was spiked,” – Jess, on watching it be #awkwardfortheband.

Date was redeemed, when they sat at a piano and Ben played “This Year’s Love”.

“This is the only song he knows how to play. Second time in three episodes. One hit wonder.” – Meghan, on the soundtrack.

Unstable smile...

Our favourite hashtag from last episode was #Jennaiscray which, thankfully, will (almost) live on with #Jenn(ifer)iscray  … I’m surprised Ben even kept her around after she admitted she was dreaming about him – yikes. She also admitted to the camera she’s falling in love with Ben. They. Have. Had. One. Group. Date.

Inexcusable behaviour. Bachelor blacklist.

Some cocktail party highlights include when Nicki, who we are still rooting for, despite doing NOTHING for our pool, played a cue card 20 questions game with Ben, when one of the girls pointed out Blakely is the kind of girl your boyfriend cheats on you with (SO TRUE) and when Emily said “Courntey has a social disorder. I think she should get diagnosed.” HA! New favourite female.

The most shocking part of the evening was definitely when Shawntel Newton from Brad’s season showed up, three episodes in, to join the cast of ladies.

"I'll fiiiind you"

Um, what? Sure we all made a virtual “hand covering face” emoticon when she made Brad lie down on her mortician’s table … but she was pretty normal on his season. Actually, one of my faves. A shocking move, which the girl’s did NAT appreciate.

As Shawntel awkwardly explained to Ben that she has strong feelings for him, Courtney and Samantha literally watched from about four feet away. Be discrete people! Has no one showed you that there are three hundred windows in that mansion? Hide behind a plant and hide the fact that you’re INSANE.

Surprised you can't see the shadows of the people watching from a stone's throw away.

Elyse, who I’m ashamed to say made my picks (fml), demonstrated that she is a brute dressed as a normal woman, when she tore a STRIP off of poor Shawntel who seemed to hold her own, despite being berated by the pack of blood thirsty women.

Worst. pick. ever.

Elyse wasn’t the only one, however, and Courtney really showed her class when she referred to her — TO BEN – as “What’s her butt.” If I were Ben, immediate dissmissal. Do not pass Chris Harrison, do not collect $200. She almost looked like she was not going to accept the rose, but she did.

“If you go home, I’m going to kill myself,” – Meghan, on one of her three remaining pool picks.

Erika faints during the rose ceremony.

Literally, faints. Because clearly, after three weeks in the Bachelor House you are Juliet, and Ben is Romeo and this is completely legit. NOT.

“If she faints, minus forty points,” – Meghan, on idiots.

What I'd want to wake up to every morning if I was Ben..... RUN. Run fast.

The ruthless bachelor, decided to pass out (Ha, get it!?) one less rose than he was supposed to and sent her packing, along with heartbroken Shawntel.

We predicted this was going to the outcome, however, we secretly think they had a steamy text sesh, or even hookup in the past to make her make that ballsy move. But, he sent her packing to avoid the wrath of the other women. Smart move, Cassanova.

One thing is for certain. “That has got to be the worst way to spell ‘Chantal’. ‘Shawn’ like the wrong way to spell the guy’s name. And then ‘tel’ like Nortel.” – Jess, on baby names.

Jaclyn, also was sent into hysterics upon dismissal. But who really cares? Not us.

We’ve added a new feature to our weekly roundups: THE MVB. Most valuable bachelorette, obvs.

This week’s winner: EMILY

MVB! MVB! MVB! (chant)

You really proved yourself to be a legit human, by being normal on the date, encouraging your fellow vultures and aiding in the fainting situation. Now don’t board the cray train, we know it makes frequent stops in these parts.

When Jess said, “I thought this show was supposed to be two hours!?” Even though we had indeed sat through two hours of gripping drama, we realized how deep our love for this show runs. Is it Monday, yet?

Pool standings after week three:

Kate (cheater): 147 points

Rhiannon (not getting invited back): 142 points

Shannon(wasn’t even there, should incur a penalty): 123 points

Meghan (down to three women): 95 points

Jess (confused at all times): 88 points

Me ($*#& !!!!): 75 (measly) points

Wish me luck nuts, I need it.

The Bachelor Recap: EPISODE TWO

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It would have been pretty hard to beat such a stellar first episode. But, between Blakely’s gingerbread costume, Jaclyn’s snide remarks and the continuation of Jenna’s meltdown … the nuts (and friends) were quite satisfied with episode two of 2012.

Keep in mind, what was once a casual and carefree Monday night with girlfriends has now turned into an all out batale-royale with the emergence of our Bachelor Pool. So as the girls headed to Sonoma to get a taste of Ben’s real life, the claws came out when Kacie B. was selected for the first one on one date. Half the group cheered on their pick, while I sulked miserably. Really? This was the girl who made a heart in the sky in episode one! How could anyone have put their faith behind her? 

But, I digress, she did pull off a pretty stellar first date. Touring Ben’s hometown she seemed fun and genuinely interested in the intricacies of Sonoma. When she purchased a baton at a shop along the strip, to show off her previous twirling talent, we thought she was done for – but surprisingly, she even pulled that off, being more cute, less cheerleader stuck in her glory years.

The most poignant moment of the night was definitely when Kacie and Ben snuggled up to watch home videos of themselves in an abandoned theatre. As has been referenced many times on the show, Ben’s father passed away not too long ago, so both bachelor, contestant and room full of attentive girls had to blink away tears.

Eyes are looking a littly misty Ben...

This spawned the most heated #BachPool debate of the night, since our set of rules takes points away for girls crying in “any way shape or form” … do happy tears count? Our ruling was that misty eyes, do not, but if a tear falls – happy or not – a penalty of minus five will be incurred. (suckaaas!).

Kacie’s date was spliced with scenes from back at the house that had us all hating Blakely already. The 34 year old cougar, stage 10 clinger, VIP Cocktail waitress, chose aggressive tactics in episode two that did not go over well with our little clan. Stay tuned for more on her antics …

“A) That’s not a name. B) You’re cray.” – Meghan on Blakely.

Up next was the first group date, which since it’s so early in the show, seemed to include almost every contestant. The concept was cute, as Ben tried to show off his sensitive side (does he have another side!?), and had local kids write a play for the girls to perform. Auditions had some girls knock it out of the park, while we literally wanted to knock Blakely out, period. Her “candy-striper” onesie was not kid appropriate and when her audition called for her to act like an ape we all cringed and covered our faces. “Run for the hills, kids!” … “I think that little boy wants some milk.” – Jess.

Put those things away.

The highlight of the play, which actually ended up being really cute and scored some of us some points with pecks on the cheek and lips (finally!), was when Jenna was cast as a wizard. Her get up had us in stitches. “Jenna’s a drunk wizard that’s crying.” – Kate

best moment of the night.

After the play, the girls were up in arms about Blakely’s forward behaviour. Samantha even pulled a stall cry, and THANK GOD none of us had Jennifer as a pool pick who said to the camera she could see herself falling in love with him – ALREADY. on. date. two…. Wow.

Jaclyn actually started to rise up a few notches in our books providing constant comedic relief and had us all thinking that if Meghan went on the show she would be saying the exact same things. “Blakely is super fakely.”

But the evening ended with a literal GASP as the big chested and hated gal secured the rose on the group date. “I guess he likes older women … and teeth.” – Jess on Blakely

Perhaps even more frustrating than Blakely’s emergence as frontrunner, was how NORMAL and CHARMING Courtney was on her one on one date (again, a failed pick on my part … dammit). We don’t blame Ben for being completely captivated with the model from L.A since she seemed like a loveable person who just hasn’t come across “the one” yet.

Although Kate and Ben are on a first name basis on Twitter, Shannon had perhaps the funniest tweet of the night: I would go on #thebachelor solely for joint custody of @BenFlajnik ‘s dog.

The pup was on his date with Courtney and made the girls swoon even more: Winemaker. Dog lover. Sensitive Sally. Dreamboat.

Despite, Courtney’s charming alter-ego her true colours were revealed in her one on one with the camera after securing the rose where she couldn’t help but remind us of THIS (uncanny resemblance):

Vanessa ... I mean Courtney.

At the cocktail party, our girl Jenna managed to have us in hysterics AGAIN when the poor soul couldn’t hold it together. I’m seriously questioning whether she’s ever spoken to a man in her life the way she stutters and stammers and more generally, doesn’t make a lick of sense while talking to Ben. Obviously her encounter with him left her in the fetal position in bed before Ben had to come and get her so she wouldn’t miss yet ANOTHER rose ceremony. Get it together.

Blakely also had a cry scene when she realized everyone HATES her … and Lindzi proved why she was chosen by us all when she had an adorably sweet convo with Ben before the rose ceremony. “He gives me butterflies.”

We were all on the edge of our seats to grab final points as the roses were passed out and much to our dismay (for comedic purposes only) Jenna was finally sent packing. For fun, we kept a tally of Jenna’s points (as if anyone would have been dumb enough to pick her), she was at negative 20 before the rose ceremony commenced.

Buh bye.

Despite the fact, that I am the self-proclaimed Bachelor aficionado of the group. Below are the standings after week one of our Bachelor Pool:

  1. Rhiannon – 73 points
  2. Kate – 72 points
  3. Shannon– 58 points
  4. Meghan – 51 points
  5. Jess – 44 points
  6. Me ……………. 29 points (wow)

I’m maintaing that I’m the sleeper pick and that a TSN turning point of epic proportions will happen.

not pleased.

But for now, Rhiannon and Kate who had BOTH Courtney and Kacie B. ran away with last night’s tally.

If you’re following along with our Bachelor Pool and have any questions feel free to leave a comment or email me at inanutshellca@gmail.com … we had many heated moments discussing contentious kisses, but all in all our love for the Bachelor and for sheer, raw competitiveness was affirmed ten times over.

Until next week, nuts!

2012 is going to be a good year … THE BACHELOR: recap

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Twas the night after New Years, when all through the room,
Not a person was breathing, while awaiting the groom.
The wine was flowing by the TV with care,
 In hopes that Ben Flajnik soon would be there.

The holidays may be over, but the best time of the year has just begun. Last night, marked the launch of a new season of THE BACHELOR. And if the scene at your home wasn’t like the one above, then you need to rally your girlfriends (or boyfriends – we know you secretly watch), to partake in the best evening of the week.

Call it a guilty pleasure, sick obsession or plain silly way to spend your Monday night, but flanked with glasses of wine and laptops for easy access tweeting, the four of us had a night filled with wild moments and lots of tears (of laughter).

If you didn’t catch the 8 p.m. premiere, well then you really missed out. But, never fear. In a nutshell is here to get you up to speed so that you can be caught up for episode two, which is sure to be a doozy.

The show opened with a short recap of Ben Flajnik’s devastating end to last year’s season of the Bachelorette. The soft spoken, shaggy haired winemaker, from the Sonoma Valley, thought he had found the one in Ashley Hebert and got down on one knee in front of millions of viewers on the season’s finale. After a long and awkward moment, Ashley helped him back to his feet to tell him that actualllyyyyyy… she hadn’t chosen him. Ouch. Hearts broke around the globe, especially Kate’s.

But, the stud is back to “find love” once again. Aren’t they all? Rumour has it the producers were worried that the quiet former contestant wouldn’t bring enough drama to the screen so they hired an EXTRA crazy cast this time around. Because the girls are never nuts on this show, right? Heaven help him.

Bios of the girls started out with a bang, with Amber who claimed she was 28 – even though the screen listed her at 29 – and went on and on about how she was going to get Ben to try her family’s delicacy, cow balls. See ya later, Amber.

Next, we were introduced to Courtney – the model. You may have missed it, if you watched but she is indeed a model. In her spare time, she enjoys modelling. And she thinks Ben will like her because she is a model. She also talked about money a lot and how she deserves a two karat ring. By the way, she’s a model.

Jamie was our group’s favourite. Her touching story about raising her brother and sister had us at hello. Most importantly, she seemed normal. A rare quality to find among the Bachelor women.

Lyndsie J came next, a completely insane British woman who spoke a mile a minute and decided to dress in various costumes for her short one minute introduction. Meghan said it best, “Wow. Good luck.”

Jenna started off on a good foot among our little group. She is a BLOGGER – woman after our own heart. It affirmed one thing and one thing only: one of the nuts has got to get in there. However, Jenna quickly became the craziest person on episode one, spending half of the cocktail party crying in the bathroom and was clearly drunker than I was on my 19th birthday. And that’s saying something.

Shawn, the single mom and Nicki, a young divorcée both got our seal of approval, not an easy thing to achieve.

Brittany scored some sympathy points by bringing a friend with her to the first rose ceremony – her 72-year-old grandma. Ben, the sweetheart, didn’t seem to mind though. When he said “I love grandmas” we melted. Way to go, Ben.

Lyndzi (not the crazy Brit) rode in on a horse, which was creative and I guess got Ben’s attention because she got the first impression rose.

Amber, the Canuck, had us rooting for her even though her pick up line (about Baconators) was terrible.

I must pause here to note that Kate (our resident wine specialist) has a serious celeb crush on Mr. Flajnik, and was tweeting at him incessantly throughout the program. When he said “I love Canada” that gave her the perfect opening: @BenFlajnik you love canada eh? Sipping on some Niagara wines! Everything is better up north.

Then, despite all skepticism our night was MADE when…. she got a response from the bachelor himself.

@katelalu love Canada.

HE TWEETED ME BACK.

This obviously sent us into a frenzy, since despite the thousands of tweets this stud was receiving (#thebachelor was trending in Canada and the United States) he only responded to a handful of people. And our little lovestruck nut was one of them! Needless to say, the rest of the evening was spent planning the wedding. We were half expecting him to tweet the last rose goes to @katelalu.

The women’s entrances were definitely entertaining, seeing Emily whip out Purrel and binaca before planting the first kiss on the man of the hour.
Kate: “That was ridiculous. She SANITIZED him.”

Holly wore a ridiculous hat, Monica opened by telling Ben she missed her dog and Shawn gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder. But, it was our girl Jenna that won worst entrance of the night. She was trying to tell him about how she liked his quote at the end of last season when he said “Things don’t end, unless they end badly”, but she managed to completely butcher it leaving Meghan commenting, “Well THIS is ending badly.” Awkward silence had Kate chime in, “PLEASE walk away.” We were in hysterics before she was even inside the house.

A strange potential lesbian scene, girl who rapped (“Is she READING it? Shame. Not freestylin?” -Shannon), and the obvious lunacy of Jenna made the cocktail party one for the books. And when the latter secured the last rose it had us all groan that this was probably a producer choice.

Nevertheless, scenes from the coming season had us all on the edge of our seats and the birth of a brilliant idea to help us enjoy the show even more (is that possible!?) was born.

Having all been in relationships at one point or another with men who obsess over their lines and stats in various hockey and football pools, our competitive group thought we should make things a little more interesting.

After scoping out former Bachelor contestant, Ashley Spivey’s drinking game and downloadable pool sheet (http://saynotocosmo.com/) we started arguing about what was the best way to go about choosing.

This is going to get ugly.

We then pointed out that the guys always get additional points for their players achievements and that we should devise something that would give us the same sick pleasure.

After much discussion, we decided that each person would put their faith behind five women.

These women would win or lose points based on their achievements or psychotic episodes during the course of the season. At the finale, all points would be tallied to reveal the winner. Below is the set of criteria we came up with. We urge you to play along with us!

Keep in mind, you don’t have to pick the winning gal to win the pool.

BACHELOR POOL POINT SYSTEM.

Choose five women – BEFORE episode two airs (and before you read all the spoilers, cheaters!)

How to WIN points:

- A cheek kiss: 1 point

- Peck on the lips: 2 points

- Make-out: 5 points

- First rose in the rose ceremony: 10 points

- One on one date: 5 points

- Rose on the group date: 10 points

- Hometown date: 15 points 

* 5 points per girl that stays at the end of each show

* 25 points per girl that makes it to the final two


How to LOSE points:

- Crying (in any way shape or form): – 5 points

- Make another person cry (staff, bachelor or other girl): – 2 points

- Storm out of a room: – 2 points

- Saying “I love you” or any variation including the words “love” and ”you” TO BEN before the last three episodes: RESET points for that girl

- If you say any variation of “love” and “him” to the camera before the last three episodes: – 5 points

Check back next week for another update on the Bachelor’s antics and to see the standings after week two. Happy obsessing watching, nuts.