Subject: Pyjamas as Pants
I don’t know why, but for some reason, a trend has emerged within my community that defies multiple fashion and common-sense rules: wearing pyjama pants as regular pants.
Now I don’t claim to be high-fashion in any way. In fact, I often have to turn to my co-contributor Kaylee to tell me what to wear and what to buy. (See here for an example) Unfortunately, I can’t keep Kaylee in my closet, nor can I call her every morning at 5:30 when I wake up for work. And so, I manage to dress myself appropriately for the day.
At first, I thought maybe I was experiencing a generational gap, since the majority of these pyjama offenders were young girls in their teens. They proudly sported their knock-off Ugg boots and flannel as they rode public transit without adult supervision. I thought, perhaps, they were just misguided in their ways as I reflected back on my years of tucked-in turtle-necks. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Pyjama offenders cross all age-lines. Case in point: an entire family, exiting a Walmart (obviously), wearing flannel pants that billowed in the wind. This is an image that will haunt me.
I just can’t wrap my head around the thought (or lack thereof) that inspires one to disregard the simple task of getting dressed. At what point did this become too much of a burden? Pyjamas are meant to be worn as sleep-wear, in the privacy of your own home. Sometimes it’s lovely to stay in pyjamas while you relax on the couch on a day off, I’ll give you that. But it is never, ever okay to substitute these flannel monstrosities for actual pants. Not only do you look like a slob, but you’re basically telling the world that you’ve given up. And seriously, you have alternatives! It’s not like sweat pants haven’t been invented. They’re comfortable, they’re legitimate and you aren’t offering yourself up as a target for confused and judgemental stares.
So please readers, I beg of you, join me in the fight against flannel. Spread the word that pyjamas should be private, safeguarded by the perimeter of your own home. Next time you’re on the bus, within the area of a Walmart, or at a Justin Bieber concert, rally against this trend. It’s for the offender’s own good…in a nutshell.