They say that what you’re doing when you’re procrastinating is what you should probably consider doing for the rest of your life.
Some doodle, some start a side business, some take on odd hobbies that culminate in an unusual career path. Like the big wig who musters the courage to leave their corporate post and open a Star Wars-themed dog cafe that looks and feels planets away from their ex-penthouse. Because it makes them content.
In my case, I string the ramblings from my brain into sentences which then flow on to a blank piece of paper or out from a blinking cursor. How fun for you. Whether or not anyone else cares what those ramblings are, I’m rarely sure – but that’s the conceptual joy of being a writer. So, despite a soft spot for weiner dogs and crafty baking, I’m just about positive there’s no overlooking what my procrastination penchant is almost 24 years into the game. I won’t take up crocheting and head for the hills; the writing’s on the wall for this gal.
Just like the rest of the well-read nuts, being involved in a written dialogue with yourself or others is, of course, driven by your own perceptions – but oh-so-inspired by what you see other people put to the page. I’m not talking plagiarism or stylistic shoplifting here. I mean, when you read something someone else has written – as a writer or not – and immediately think, ‘Well, damnit. That was well-said.’ This doesn’t mean you then decide to also put long-winded footnotes at the bottom of each page like the late great David Foster Wallace or write full novels on index cards like Vladimir Nabokov. But these literary mannerisms, methodical quirks and completely original displays of creativity are disgustingly enviable sometimes. They make a writer want to be a better writer; discover our own flair, if you will. Or just grow up to be the other writer – either one.
I’m obsessed with other writers. With some, the idea of amounting to their almost lunatic style of prose or peculiar genius is just laughable. Others, it’s their unforced, everyday kind of talent that makes them so alluring. It’s their ability to write something that most likely all of their readers have thought and maybe said at one point, but in a way that is so user-friendly; so witty, yet so ordinary. It’s the latest and greatest Nora Ephron, is what it is.
Say what you will, but, with Ephron – the more of hers I read, the more I watch, the more I study Google pages filled with her effortlessly insightful interviews – the more I want to be her, or mirror even a fragment of her conversationalist approach to storytelling. Tell me I’m not the only one here? Man or woman, cat or dog – there is no way in hell you watched When Harry Met Sally – when Billy Crystal races against the midnight countdown on New Year’s Eve to rhyme off the annoying but endearing foibles that led him to realize his mad love for Meg Ryan – without recognizing the humanness, the genius of Ephron typing that scene holed up in a New York City studio, once upon a time. I mean, a classic speech is hard to come by these days. A real, idiosyncrasy-filled ode that rolls human error, fate and gooey sentiment all into one is just not an everyday brainwave. Let me tell you.
Sidenote and spoiler. In Ephron’s hilarious collection of essays called I Remember Nothing, she excitedly tells the story of how she nearly came into what she thought would be a gigantic inheritance following her Uncle’s passing – in which case she wouldn’t have needed to continue penning what she thought was another crappy screenplay that “was never going to get made.” She didn’t become an heiress to her Uncle’s fortune as expected, and therefore finished writing the script because she needed the money. And that script was When Harry Met Sally. Phew.
Prior to her all-too-soon passing in June, it was this very bona fide kind of writing that brought her audiences many of what are considered to also be legendary romantic-comedy scripts, including Sleepless in Seattle, Michael, Julie and Julia and You’ve Got Mail. Some people scoff at the phrase “rom-com” and the stereotypes that presumably accompany it – but when you really think about it, the good ones are actually few and far between. Because the good ones entail a script which encompasses frank stories about human behaviour; people doing as people do. Dry and believable descriptions of the glue of human life – relationships – are something that many writers, ironically enough, can’t always deliver. Ephron could just nail it.
In fact, in creating such satirically simple storylines, Ephron’s reverse-shock factor writing kept her below some radars as being an influential thread within late 20th century pop culture. As a seasoned American journalist, playwright and novelist – unfortunately (and commonly), a fresh light was only shed on her career following her passing at the young (and ripe, as you’ll read in her latest works) age of 71. I myself am guilty of (always loving, but) never realizing exactly the breadth of her cultural involvement.
So, as I sit here with a furrowed brow, Ephron hardcover propped beneath my chin and a brain full of Nora-isms I wish I’d written myself – I hope everyone else can find a little inspiration to figure out what fuels, and also get moving on, their procrastination penchant. I know I will, after two plus hours spent buried in pages of Nora-isms, painfully spent thinking, “Well, damnit. That was really well-said.”
Memorable Nora-isms:
“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.” – Heartburn
“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.” – Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail
“I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are.” - Nora Ephron
“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.” – Nora Ephron
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – Billy Crystal to Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron
Love Nora too, and you my friend, are a version of her with your impeccable and inspiring writing skills. xo