With the new year comes resolutions, gym passes, new goals, stricter spending, (lots of snow), vacation plans, healthier eating and ……………….. THE BACHELOR.
In the past, I have given my deposition in defence of my myself and my colleagues in an attempt to assure skeptics that Monday nights feat. The Bachelor, your best girlfriends (and guy friends, let’s get real, my roommate is the show’s biggest fan) and an occasional glass of wine or two, transforms the previously most dreaded day of the week into a night you can’t wait for.
Advantages to watching the show include:
Oh Chris, you coy devil.
1. Chris Harrison – the host, our favourite human, and a stud who has not aged in 17 seasons
2. Instantly bond with other women (at work, in grocery store lines, between spitting at a tooth cleaning, etc.) over the most ridiculous episode
3. You don’t judge people in your own lives, and reserve all harsh criticism for people you will (probably) never meet in your whole life
4. Confidence. Knowing you would NEVER act the way those girls are on TV, would NEVER tell a man you love him on the fourth day of courtship, would NEVER burst into tears at the drop of a hat … on national television.
5. Abs. From laughing so hard. Forget weight watchers, this is the real deal.
With Monday’s first episode (if you haven’t seen it, Rogers on Demand that sh*t instantly), came new heights in 26 unbelievable limo entrances.
Among the most notable:
Robyn, tried to back flip out of the limo and FELL. (Does television get better than that? Come on.)
impending wipeout.
Kelly, a cruise ship singer, and awful dresser, belted out an original love song, while Sean faked an appreciative smile.
Ashley P. was straight up insane. In fact, she was my favourite girl on the whole show. Pity she had to get voted off. I mean all she did was tell Sean her favourite book was Fifty Shades of Grey, pull a tie out of her cleavage, get wasted and dance around like she was listening to rihanna in her bedroom, and to top it all off fall down a small flight of stairs.
Sean looks scared. As he should be.
Oh ya, there was the girl who dressed in a wedding dress. Because that’s a good way to say, “I’m totally laid back and not crazy,” ON THE FIRST NIGHT YOU MEET. Way to go Lindsay.
What is Sean thinking? “Run.”
And last but not least KACIE B is back! I almost somersaulted off my couch. Click here to find out why.
Remember this? I do.
Not bad. You?
The man of the hour, hunky Sean who came third in Emily’s season, is probably one of the most perfect men to ever take the Bachelor stage, making girls everywhere (including the one behind this computer screen) regret not throwing themselves to the wolves and applying for this season of the show.
Shaking things up he decided to hand out roses the way Oprah gives out cars. Before the rose ceremony even took place half the girls were proudly flaunting their flowers, while the others tried to keep their trembling lips (and sanity) in check.
Sean sent 7 women packing, leaving 19 to duke it out…. No I mean, seriously, I think someone actually goes to the hospital.
If all that isn’t reason enough to make you catch up on episode one and then promptly organize a box social for episode two, then here is my last plea:
For the love of God, create a Bachelor pool.
NHL Hockey is back and soon your boyfriends, brothers, and best friends will stop communicating with you entirely. Have your own stats to check with inanutshell’s Bachy Pool.
It’s the most fun you’ll ever have & we’ve made it easy and created a print out for you:
Happy watching, happy winning … and most importantly, happy hysterics.
Thank you so much for bringing back the bachy commentary! I actually found this awesome site last season when I was looking for a “Bach recap” for an episode I missed. Keep up the good work, ladies!