As you may recall, I was originally quite optimistic about the inaugural season of the Bachelor Canada.
Not only did the Ottawa nuts (one-degree of separation) know two of the girls on the show, but the first episode showed a lot of promise. Some cattiness, fake tata’s, a steamy makeout that pissed everyone off – all you could ever want in an episode of the Bachelor… am I right!?
However, with one episode left, a clear distinction between the Canadian version and its American counterpart has been drawn.
Below a list of why the Bachelor Canada falls a buck short, or should I say, loonie:
You’ll never be Chris Harrison….
1. Tyler
I’m sorry Tyler Harcott, I’m sure you’re a very nice person – and I feel as though if a Canadian gameshow was in need of a host you may be the perfect candidate – but with your cheesy lines, long neck and your feeble attempts at humour, I don’t think saying “ladies, this is the final rose,” is your calling. Mainly because… Chris Harrison does it better. So much better. I really do feel for you, having the biggest shoes in Canadian hosting history to fill, but come on, no one has Chris’ swag. Especially you.
2. Editing
Now, this is likely a pet peeve that grinds my gears more than most, but if you look closely it’s appalling.
I went through Journalism school, I specialized in television broadcasting, and I can tell you that the editing on this show is horrific. There’s a little trick we television-makers use where if we want to edit a conversation to our liking, only taking the juiciest bits, we will cut to another scene, or film someone from behind so you can’t see their mouths, etc. And while this technique is oh so prevalent in the American Bachelor, it’s done terribly in the Canadian one. Hey producers! Hire me! I’ll have Whitney saying things to Brad she only said off screen in no time. And! no. one. will. know.
3. The girls all love each other
So happy to be reunited with their besties.
This is seriously annoying. I mean, of course they do! We’re Canadian right? The land of neighbourly love, saying “sorry” even when you’re not and politeness our grandmothers taught us over stuffing turkeys. But COME. ON. While the Canadian bachelorettes (Whitney excluded) show a level of class that the American girls we’ve come to love hate rarely show, it’s SO. MUCH. MORE. interesting when they want to claw each other’s eyes out! Laura B. encouraging Chantelle, everyone encouraging Laura. B, and the most amicable The Women Tell All of ALL time. I’m sorry ladies, but you’re definitely not supposed to “hug it out” on what’s supposed to be the cattiest show of the season. Stop being so goddamn nice, OKAY!?
4. Accelerated schedule
Ummmmm … is it just me or did this show start four episodes ago, and it’s already over? At first we thought Brad was being extra spicy sending off four girls in one episode, but then it happened again, and again, and it was quickly apparent that the Bachelor Canada’s wallet is actually a piggy bank. I mean it did come as a shock when the ladies started getting whisked away to far off destinations. Was I the only one that thought the Bachelor Canada would take place exclusively in Canada? Overnight dates in an igloo? Just me? At first, I gave a silent fist pump, “You go BachCan, we have helicopters too!” … Buuuuuuuut only for a few episodes okay? These things are EXPENSIVE!
5. Mutual breakups
Am I supposed to be upset or something?
You know that point when the (American) Bachelor would hand out all the roses, leaving one trembling girl to blink repeatedly, give fake hugs to her fake friends, choke out a goodbye and then completely fall to pieces in the limo – letting all of North America in on her deepest darkest fears, failures and quite possibly, mental health issues? Weeeeellll, the Canadian girls left with a lot more class, and a lot less tears, much to the disappointment of the True North Strong and Free. Come on ladies, you can’t shed ONE tear? You can’t show a LITTLE more emotion for this man you’ve known TWO weeks, who you obviously thought was the LOVE of your LIFE!? A simple shrug, smile and, “Ya, I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” was the most the producers were able to squeeze out of these Canadian stones.
6. Brad’s actually the bomb
Remember when Jake was almost verbally abusive to Vienna on camera, or when commitment-phobe Brad Womack couldn’t chose between his last two candidates, leaving them both on the altar-of-engagement? Or how about when Ben skinny dipped with Courtney, and made out with every girl on the show? You know how you RELISHED those moments, tweeting hate comments, texting all your friends and vowing that you would NEV-ER date a man so vile?
Well, Brad’s awesome. He is by far the funniest one on the show, seems to have a lot of respect for all of the women, gives classy goodbyes, puts people in their place when they deserve it, AND could it be, seems to be there for the RIGHT reasons? Given the two girls he has left, it’s almost sure to end in heartbreak, or at least a broken engagement, but Brad, if you’re currently on the rebound, I’m single, Canadian, and have a soft spot for athletes … in a nutshell.
Come on…
Recent Comments