An open letter to the people of Toronto (and everywhere else) …

In a nutshell is exactly 40% Torontonian. Two out of the five nuts not only call it their home, but just ask them and they’ll tell you how completely enamored they are by the big city.

As they should be.

The prettiest two in Toronto.

Remember when I wrote this post about how Toronto is a great city? I stick by that. Rob Ford’s recent embarrassments aside (eye roll), it’s one of those bustling places everyone needs to experience. It’s the city I visit most often. A home away from home, if you will.

But, on my most recent visit – along with catching up with good friends and family, trying some great restaurants and remembering that half of my nearest and dearest are worth a quick five hour jaunt in the car – something bothered me.

It was a quick comment my sister-in-law made to my brother. Not a rant, no sarcasm, nothing out of the ordinary, really – just something a wife wanted to share with her husband:

“Someone gave up their seat for me yesterday.”

My sister-in-law is pregnant. Visibly pregnant. Our entire family is just bursting with excitement and anticipation over the arrival of my niece, who is due just two months away, in March.

So, what my sister-in-law was saying was that, even though she couldn’t hide her growing baby bump if she tried, even though she commutes to work via subway almost every day, and even though it’s winter and finding spots to even hold on to are hard to come by, it was noteworthy, and even rare, that someone would give up their seat for her to sit down.

Now Toronto, I’m not trying to be high and mighty in our nation’s capital and make it sound like pregnant ladies are hoisted up on passerby’s shoulders over here. That every gentleman in Ottawa lays his coat over a puddle for a woman with child to cross safely by, or that we have somehow been brought up with more manners than our neighbours to the south.

I assure you, I’m not. But, I can also say that I’ve witnessed, countless times, men, women, students, teenagers, etc. give up their seats for the elderly, young children, and, of course, Mommies to be.

My brother, who is arguably more Torontonian at this point than Ottawan, said it best, “Yeah. People don’t do that much here. They keep to themselves.”

Ok, let’s back up a bit …

This whole post started out as a review for the film Her.

I know. I’m confusing you. Bear with me.

The mood to watch a movie doesn’t strike me often, but it did this week – most likely on the grounds of popcorn craving alone.

Opting for the under-three-hours alternative to The Wolf of Wall Street, both my cinema companion and I expressed some mild interest in seeing the film Her. My friend had heard rave reviews, I loved Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line – it was decided.

If you’re not up-to-speed on the premise:

Her is set in the near future, where Theodore Twombly (Phoenix), is coming to grips with his impending divorce. Lonely, quirky and often keeping to himself, it doesn’t take long to realize his life is one of near solitude, opting instead to bury his head in electronics and video games. It’s no surprise he’s intrigue is peaked with an advertisement for a new, advanced operating system, which promises to be an intuitive entity to each individual user.

Think Siri, but instead of giving you standardized responses, she picks up on the cues in your voice and can remember intimate details about your life.

Upon installing this new OS, Theodore meets “Samantha” (Scarlett Johansson), and as their relationship grows – talking more and more each day – their friendship deepens to love and then a relationship.

In other words, his cell phone becomes his girlfriend.

This movie was bizarre for a number of reasons (however, I still recommend it’s worth seeing), but since this is NOT a review of the movie, I won’t get into any more details on that.

Time to go full circle here ….

After leaving a film where the main character becomes more and more engrossed in a piece of technology, virtually ignoring the real humans around him, it makes you think about our own state of society and how far off we really are from people completely closing themselves off to the people around them.

Leaving Her I felt a little disturbed thinking that this may actually be the way we’re all headed. Less face-to-face, more electronic, more distance, more ignoring not only the people in our close proximity, but those who are meant to be close to our hearts, too.

And for some reason, this made me think, again, of my sister-in-law: petite, pregnant and without a place to sit on the subway.

Not because people from Toronto are unkind or selfish, but more than likely, just not paying attention.

So, people of the T-Dot I’m using you as an example, but this post is for everyone in all other places, everywhere, including the people in my own city.

Let’s open our eyes a bit.

We’ll still put on our Songza playlists, check our emails, and text our besties on the regular, but maybe we can all be a little more mindful of the people around us.

And if there’s one thing you should take away from this post, it’s that every young, able-bodied person should be able to give up a seat for a pregnant lady on the subway.

You’ll not only be doing a good deed but you’ll make the honour roll of Saturday brunch conversations between husbands, wives, sisters and brothers all over the city.

That, I can guarantee.