Save the Date crafting…
Every pre-wedding experience is unique. Family dynamics, planning techniques and personal opinions all come into play as you decide what your dream day will look like. After just 4 months of engagement, we have made substantial progress; from booking a venue, distributing save the dates, to saying ‘yes to the dress’. These past few months have been very exciting, as the vision of our big day comes to fruition more and more. Here are some things we’ve experienced in the early stages of wedding planning, many of which I’m sure any newly engaged couple can relate to…
1. No matter what, and perhaps despite your best efforts, tradition will find its way to you. Weddings have a tendency to bring out the traditional in people, whether it’s a passing comment about the “ever important” engagement shoot (“to test out your photographer, of course!”) or a more direct one about the chosen ceremony venue (“as long as you understand the repercussions with the Church…”) Suddenly, you are left thinking, where do we draw the line between common practice and personal preference?
2. You will argue. I imagine every newly engaged couple pronounces, like we did, that they “will NOT argue about the wedding”. Well, I’m sorry to say, you undeniably will at some point. The good news is if you didn’t argue, it would mean one of you doesn’t care as much as the other. Your wedding is supposed to be one of the most important days of your lives, you will undoubtedly dispute a few things, and you will come out stronger because of it.
Engagement party planners & visitors <3
3. You will be reminded of how many exceptional people you have in your lives. I hope this is the case for every newly engaged couple, but the outpouring of love we’ve experienced has been the best part of the process, by far. I can’t imagine planning this wedding without my parents, girlfriends, soon-to-be family-in-law and everyone else by our side. They make every activity and decision so much fun with undying enthusiasm and genuine love. I’ve learned that what will make this time most special, is making sure they’re involved every step of the way.
4. You will become overwhelmed. I hope this isn’t just me, but when the time comes to start thinking of all the little things – the ceremony music, wedding favours, programs, bar rentals, cake – you can definitely start to lose perspective. You want every little thing to be perfect (again, just me?) but you also want to focus on the bigger picture, on what the day means, and not become bogged down by the details. I have no doubt this feeling will fluctuate throughout the planning process, but it’s important to step back every once in a while, and remind yourself of that greater significance.
5. You will struggle with THE GUEST LIST. When you start to plan, this will be one of the first hurdles to tackle, as your guest count will be the #1 question any venue asks. You may picture this activity as one of the most fun; you and your hubby-to-be curled up on the couch, drinking wine, and typing away at a list that includes all of your favourite people, happily distributing cute mailing address requests complete with bride and diamond emojis. All I will say is that, it’s somewhat less of a joyous and care-free experience. To this day we see people at social gatherings, look at each other, and wonder “a) DID we invite them? and/or b) SHOULD we invite them?” The struggle is real and unavoidable. Silver lining? We love a lot of people.
6. Your will embark on the honeymoon phase 2.0. Please excuse the serving of cheese, but this one, I imagine, is true of any newly engaged couple. Whether you’ve been dating for 2 years or 8, you will be giddy at the thought of spending the rest of your lives together, no matter how certain you were of it before he put a ring on it. This phase of a relationship doesn’t get the credit it deserves, and you should cherish every second of it.
7. You will receive unsolicited advice every step of the way. While some brides may shutter at the thought of distant family members offering uninvited guidance, I welcome any real life enlightenment in place of Pinterest articles that can cause more uncertainty than support. Every newly married couple I meet is promptly asked “what’s one thing you would do differently?” and “what was the best advice you received along the way?” All of the greatest planning/logistical tips I’ve learned so far have come from these conversations (i.e. Do your speech first, so you can be stress-free the rest of the evening, or get a wedding designer who can make your vision come to life, to avoid that unwanted stress,) so I highly recommend it!
8. You will be asked a plethora of questions you don’t yet know the answers to. This started happening almost immediately, when I was asked by a friend if we had discussed wedding timing, on the same day the proposal took place. While of course this is just a sign that your loved ones are genuinely interested in your progress, the hilarious and unfortunate side effect is that you are CONSTANTLY reminded of the things you have not yet accomplished.
9. On the note of conversation, you will also never have nothing to talk about. Riding the elevator with an awkward colleague? On a double date with a boring couple? Mingling at a cocktail party? You’ve got more ammo than ever before. Flash your ring, bring up your latest planning conundrum, or mention your recent wedding dress purchase, and presto, you’ve captured an audience and triggered an impromptu Q&A (see #8.)
10. You will realize you can’t please everyone. Your venue is too far, too expensive, your wedding date is inconvenient, your colouring doesn’t flatter a bridesmaid’s skin tone… the feedback and expectations from others will build up and weigh on you throughout the process. The most important thing you both need to realize, is that you can’t appease everyone, and you shouldn’t have to. This is your chance to be selfish, those who love you will make it work no matter what, and the only way it will be the perfect day you always imagined, is if you stick to your guns and stand united.
Celebrating saying yes to the dress!
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