In partnership with Kate & guest conti’beaut’ions from Ken Essex / Allan Gordon
Valentine’s Day can be a tricky day of the year when you’re trying to read the mind of the one you’re meant to love most. Hints are dropped, subtle questions asked, advice sought, all to ensure that this Valentine’s Day isn’t your last with your other half.
Seriously though, how are they single?
Should I make him dinner? Should I take her to that restaurant? Is this tie okay? Does this corset make me look fat? Will he hate this teddy bear? She’s totally going to love this stupid teddy bear.
It’s confusing … we get it.
We, here at nutshell, often give you boys a hand. Gift guides, date guides, little glimpses into the female psyche that often garner a slightly inebriated “I liked your ______ post” from the men in our lives. Thank you, thank you – we try.
But, for this tricky day we wanted to present both sides of the coin – give two different perspectives on today, this controversial “holiday”. So as Kate & I start primping for OUR big night out, we decided to quiz our main men, guest contri’beaut’ors Ken & Allan, to help some sistas out.
What IS going on in that man-brain of yours and why do we disagree on what we should do to please it?
…. How are we single?
Below, the results of a questionnaire filled out by we two pairs of pals. You can thank our sassy quartet with a box of chocolates … or should you?
Q: Is a set of lingerie a legitimate gift (to give) on Valentine’s Day?
C&K: Yes. A resounding yes. If we are willing to go on a February-fad diet and parade around in skimpy (read: uncomfortable) lingerie ALL for the sake of showing our undying love .. than our men better be bragging to their boys about this V-Day. Or else.
Also, both these nuts may or may not have pulled this tactic before. Soooooooo…..
K&A: No way!! First of all, I have no clue if your waist size is small, medium, or large (I sure hope it’s not XL), and what – bra sizes? Those should also be in small, medium, and large for any man to be able to understand … but then again I wouldn’t be able to guess those sizes either. I’d have better luck guessing lotto numbers, so forget about lingerie.
Lingerie is overrated anyways… the real gift is if it ends up on the floor… and in that case, does it really matter if you were wearing it in the first place?
Hi, Ken.
Q: Is a set of lingerie a legitimate gift (to receive) on Valentine’s Day?
C&K: If all you can come up with for Valentine’s Day is a set of lingerie, run to the nearest store and pick up something else. Seriously, RUN. Lingerie is ONLY acceptable when accompanied by at least one other item that you know she will love.
K&A: I don’t receive lingerie very often … but when I do, I’m stoked! I got a leopard print thong once. It’s for special occasions only …
Q: Would you prefer to do a dinner-date or something more original on Valentine’s Day? Expand.
C&K: Dinner is a safe bet and let’s be honest, you’re talking to two foodies here. So picking up the tab on a wonderful meal is definitely welcomed and appreciated. BUT, originality usually boasts greater… rewards. If you catch our drift.
K&A: Dinner dates are fine every once in a while – Valentine’s Day could be one of these. But creativity is something that both guys and girls appreciate in a relationship. If your girl wants to do something different, cool. But don’t be fooled gentlemen, Valentine’s Day is 100% about the girl. Don’t stray too far from the norm because you think it might be fun and unique. Girls want it to be like it is in a movie – try to keep it that way.
These are candles, and this is a boudoir.
Q: Candles in the boudoir, a yay or a nay?
C&K: Okay, okay, so neither of us love our V-Day’s accompanied with a thick layer of cheese. But this one will slip by. Candles are sexy. Unless you inadvertently end up lighting something on fire, in which case, firefighters are sexier. Sorry, babe.
K&A: What the !$#% is a boudoir?!?
Q: For the ladies. Chocolates, flowers or jewelry?
C&K: Chocolates – No. Just no. 95 per cent of women are on diets. Especially since we all bought you lingerie for Valentine’s Day. See question one.
Flowers – A girl is a LIAR if she tells you she doesn’t want flowers. But for the love of God, don’t show up with carnations. Red roses are a little too cliché and typical. Do a recon mission. Find out what her favourites are.
Jewelry – Bingo bango. If you want to really hit the Feb. 14th homerun this is your ticket. Kate received one of the best pieces of jewels she owns one VDay. And no, 2.5 years is not “TOO SOON” for jewelry, as Cat was once told.
Yes, please.
K&A: Chocolates and flowers – hard to go wrong men. Gotta stick to the traditional favourites.
Jewelry is a tough call. It’s expensive, and one of those things that your girl needs to love if she’s going to wear it. Worst thing is, girls won’t return/exchange it, even if they hate it:
“Hey babe, why don’t you ever wear that necklace I got your for Valentine’s?”
“It doesn’t match any of my outfits” …LIAR!
They want to keep it because, “It’s so thoughtful.” Yeah, it’s also a few hundred dollars. Props to the girls that admit they don’t like it and get something they do like, and will actually wear.
Q: For the fellas. Hockey (insert any desirable sporting event) tickets, sex toys or man jewelry?
C&K: Sporting event – This is the perfect gift. It’s something you can do together and something he will really enjoy. Like, you’re probably the best girlfriend in the entire world if this is what you get your man… except that this is our tried, tested and true go-to gift … and we are both single.
Maybe time to rethink.
Sex toys – …. Our parents read this blog ….
Jewelry – The only man jewelry we can even think of as acceptable is a watch. Which is a BOMB gift, but maybe save it for another TIME (get it!) Anniversary or birthday for sure. And definitely stay away from this if you are a new couple stage five clinger.
K&A: Pretty much anything paired with sex toys is awesome.
On the subject of sporting events – please refer to our article “what not to get your gf on Christmas.”
At least he gets points for creativity
Q: Is it a good idea- if you were ever planning on it- to propose on Valentine’s day?
C&K: NO.
The only thing that would be worse than a Valentine’s Day proposal would be a Valentine’s Day wedding.
K&A: LAME. This is a marriage destined to fail. The only thing worse will be the amount of future relationships you ruin by telling your dates that once upon a time you got engaged on Valentine’s Day, divorced a year later, and now the day is tainted forever.
Q: Is it necessary to have a solid baby making session on Valentine’s day? Should attempts at breaking PBs (personal bests) be made?
C&K: YES. Go for the gusto! Give it your all! Be spicy! Be sassy! … On second thought, that might be a little bit too much pressure. Especially if your man has had a few drinks …. (holla if you hear us).
K&A: This is the ultimate win-win gift. Maybe try something new; hot wax perhaps? Some soft jazz? And guys, don’t worry if you don’t set that PB, there’s only one way to get better – repetition. Practice makes perfect.
…
Q: Is it wise to go on a first date on Valentine’s day?
C&K: Only if you’re okay with having said date on the hill that we will run to. Seriously, run for the hills if this is the ONLY day in his sched your suitor can manage to make a first date. Come on.
K&A: If the timing is right, why not? No one likes being alone of VDay. Take caution though. Treat it as a first date that just so happens to fall on Valentine’s. You don’t need to be buying this babe promise rings and pick her up in a horse-drawn chariot.
Q: If you’ve been dating someone for a short period of time, what is the best way to tackle this particular day of the year?
C&K: Well how long? And like, what are we? Have we been seeing each other casually? Couple dates? Bf / gf? Official? Has he met my friends? Do I think he’s that into me? Will I be doing something to scare him off?
… In other words, save new romances for the spring. Winter is a tricky time.
K&A: If you like the girl, it’s the perfect opportunity to show her, “Hey, you’re not just another notch in the belt.” You then whisper in her ear, “I’m wearing a leopard print thong.”
Unanimously the best way to celebrate a single Feb. 14th.
Q: If you are single and ready to mingle, what is the best way to celebrate your singledom on Valentine’s day?
C&K: The PERFECT night for a single stallion would definitely be to meet up with your bestie, pound some drinks, treat yourselves to a nice dinner, dance the night away at a club that features some hot jams and maybe just maybe, meet mister right on the d-floor.
So … exactly what we have planned for tonight. Meet ya there.
K&A: This year Ken put a post on Facebook saying he was accepting application to be my Valentine. It didn’t go so hot, as the comments were filled with laughs and insults. So don’t do that.
Can you let go of my face? I want to drink my wine.
Buy lots of drinks for yourself, and try to find your Valentine (for the night).
The typical Allan and Ken would be out seeking a Cat and Kate.
C&K: Oh ya, us too boys. Us too.
Q: What level of PDA is acceptable on Valentine’s Day?
C&K: Do not sit on the same side of the booth. Do not eat my face in public. Do not stand up in the restaurant and give a public declaration of your love. And if you even think of feeding me, this will now also be Break-Up Day. But if you wanna sneak me a sweet kiss, hold my hand and maybe piggy back me home that’s, as GoldyLocks would say, “Just right.”
K&A: Hand holding and a couple kisses are fine. Makeout and beyond – save that for later when you’re home alone with candles lit and lingerie on (and a leopard print thong?). Keep it PG in public. We’re not in highschool. Stay classy.
Happy Valentine’s Day, in a nutshell.
Absolutely great! Hilarious! Loved it! Although Personally i like sitting on the same side of the table