As you all know, I am in a nutshell’s chief Bachelor/ette correspondent. This may give the impression that I am somewhat of a television fanatic. If I can get that excited about implausible love stories, immoral characters and scripted reality, than surely I must delve into the more complex, more thought-provoking and simply, BETTER shows out there. Oui?
But sadly, I do not. Somehow between running a newspaper, running alongside the canal and running from one social engagement to the next, penciling in some quality TV time falls to the bottom of my priority list.
In fact, I can barely sit still through an episode if I’m not live-tweeting, snuggling or painting my nails.
This comes at the cost of disappointing nearly everyone I meet.
Lately, it seems the topic of conversation at every dining table, bar stool and grocery line is “O.M.G have you seen the latest episode of ___________.” To which I can only reply: “No, I have not.”
Recently, on one such occasion, I was met with a simple counter argument: “Well, you’re nuts… TV is better than movies these days.”
Which got me thinking: I am probably not alone in my near-cableless existence (..or am I?). So turning to the very people who have gushed about this show or that show, I present to you a list of THE most MUST-SEE shows that television has to offer.
And don’t forget, you’re nuts if you don’t watch:
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DEXTER
It’s simple…the show DEXTER is the show to watch.
If you think your own “dark passenger” is bad, try being a vigilante. Obviously you have to be somewhat absolutely insane to kill people and actually enjoy doing it. But, would you ever think that you could love a serial killer? I do. This show makes me think harder and puts me in a darker place than any show or movie I have ever watched in my life. Just see the finale of Season 4. That ending affected my life and put me in a dark state of mind after a twist I never saw coming, which had me looking over my shoulder for weeks. But, that’s why I love it. It’s unpredictable and keeps you on the edge of your seat. This is no comedy and it is certainly not your average everyday feel-good-to-be-alive show.
If you’re going to watch it, I suggest not eating any breakfast the next day.
-By: Joey Manely @joeymanley10
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GIRLS
After being asked to write about why all of you people should be watching HBO’s Girls, I immediately starting sifting through the hilarious scenes I SO enjoy on this show. From the discovery of Hannah’s college boyfriend’s sexual preference swap, to Shoshanna’s unplanned crack cocaine experience – “It was a glass cigarette, and I’m high. My ears feel like popping, do your ears feel like popping?” – this show never ceases to amaze me. The brilliant writing by Lena Dunham who plays Hannah, a painfully hilarious and infinitely sarcastic a$$hole, with the ability to make fun of herself before anyone else has the chance to, makes Girls what it is. The show is based on the lives of four REAL females in their twenties living in New York City. And when I say real in this instance, I don’t mean that they all live in palatial Manhattan apartments, weigh the equivalent of a cucumber, with impressive girth at Longo’s, or get into the most popular nightclubs in the city. What this show captures is what actual twenty-somethings can relate to, may it be the dives of promiscuous activity, dealing with a boyfriend that should be using more tampons than you do, or alternately, the guy whom you spend so much time convincing yourself he actually DOES give a @*%# about you, when in fact, he does not. (Everyone has one, let’s face it…) Girls is one of the most refreshing displays of comedy that both you AND your boyfriend will pee yourselves laughing over. This is my personal guarantee. As simply put as the title itself, WATCH.
-By: Morgan Smith
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SONS OF ANARCHY
Over a year ago, when I first met Catherine, she was working at the bar alongside my buddy and I still would buy drinks off her, for double the price, just because I said to myself, “She’s hot and looks like someone.”… Months later I realized she looked like Tara (Maggie Siff) from FX’s Sons of Anarchy.
Sons of Anarchy has basically the same premise as Shakespeare’s Hamlet: Uncle figure (Clay) kills father (John Teller), marries his mother (Gemma) takes control of the kingdom (SAMCRO), and loses his best friend. Okay, now I’m giving away too much. Sons of Anarchy is a show about a biker gang, whose main source of income is selling guns. They buy guns from their Irish connection and sell to street gangs, other biker gangs and even the Mexican Cartel. Every guy, after watching SOA, immediately wants to quit their day job to become a biker and be as bad-ass as Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam) who is the current President of SAMCRO (Son of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original). Jax is the ultimate bad ass, never losing a fight, always the first one to react to situations, taking care of the club’s messes that they get into… Girls love SOA for the same resason. With his long blonde hair and bad boy swag, Jax still manages to paint a pretty awesome love story with Tara. Sons of Anarchy is a must watch featuring guns, drugs, murders, fights and all sorts of action. And even when Jax shows his soft side, guys think, “I should use that line on a girl.” …I know I have!
-By: Jared Hutchinson @JerryHuckinson
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GAME OF THRONES
Generally steering clear of all shows/movies fantasty-esque or unrealistic (vampire love stories in particular), I assumed watching my first episode of Game of Thrones was going to be an hour of wasted time. However, after continuing to watch the rest of the first season in one sitting, along with 10 hours of my life, I was obsessed. Now, two books and two seasons later, I can truly say that I have never been so passionate about a television series in all of my days. If you haven’t already been sucked into the emotional, sword raising frenzy that is GOT, here’s what you’re missing:
1) Nudity. Shall I end my argument here?
GOT has been criticized for being so lurid (bosoms in about every third scene), simply to attract viewers (as SNL had no trouble pointing out in a skit this past April). This is medieval times in all its guts and glory, baby. Plus, I dare you to watch most episodes of this show with your girlfriend/boyfriend/anyone and not…
2) This is a truly character-driven show. There are no weak links, not even the children characters. You may hate them, you may love them, but they are all compelling. Each with a moral ambiguity unlike a cast of characters I have ever seen. The characters you originally wanted to love, you may now want beheaded (except Tyrian, if you don’t dig him, there’s really no hope for you).
3) The show doesn’t think its viewers are idiots. It will pick you up from one part of Westeros to the next, while introducing 12 new characters and their children in between. Not to mention the political intrigue and potential parallels of the political reality of today. There isn’t even a “last time on…” recap at the beginning of every episode (probably because they know you’ve re-watched last week’s episode right before the new one).
Game of Thrones is as intelligent as it is raw. It will be the characters, writing, and appeal to your sociopathic ID that will keep you fiending the next episode. Winter is coming. I just wish Season 3 was coming with it.
-By: Alyssa Fowler @alyssfowler
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REVENGE
ABC’s Revenge is currently my favorite guilty pleasure. I liken it to my Gossip Girl obsession five years ago (read: last year). Even though the plot seems extremely unbelievable, you can’t help but huddle around the television every week to see who hooks up and who gets killed off, all in the span of 60 minutes. Something about the dramatic and juicy lives of the elite never gets old, as if having a lot of money makes you feel the need to sleep with your best friend’s husband/brother/son, have at least one illicit child, and be at the centre of a federal investigation. Revenge follows orphaned Amanda Clarke (played by Canadian actress Emily VanCamp), a troubled young woman seeking revenge for her dead father who was framed as a terrorist by his former boss, Conrad Grayson. Amanda poses as the well-educated and philanthropic Emily Thorne in order to get closer to the Grayson family and deliver ruthless revenge to everyone involved in the scandal. The show takes place in the Hamptons (draw #1), has no shortage of eye candy (draw #2), and features good enough acting that I’m not rolling my eyes every time something completely ludicrous happens. Then there are the weekly twists. Surprise! Amanda’s fake identity actually belongs to a real person – a stripper who clubs a man to death a few episodes into the first season (cute). Surprise! Daniel’s frat buddy who moved in is actually a psycho stalker. Surprise! Amanda’s mom might not be dead, just institutionalized for being mental (great genes). However, somehow the show manages to balance the outlandish with just enough humanity to keep me coming back for more (Joshua Bowman doesn’t hurt, either). Excuse me while I pour a large glass of Pinot Grigio and tune in to the latest epi.
-By: Shannon Code @codeshanaynay
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SUITS
If you haven’t heard of the television show Suits please refrain from continuing to read or you will likely need to cancel any plans you have for the next week while you catch up on everything you have missed. Suits is one of televisions newest legal dramas that mixes the perfect amount of humor, wit and style into a single package that will have you talking to just about anyone who will listen. Straying from the traditional law-show formula this series incorporates enough attitude and twists into a single package that it will grab you from the very beginning and never let go. Suits is focused on Mike Ross, a young non-conforming stoner with a eidetic memory who is hardly living up to his potential before running into Harvey Specter, New York’s best dressed and tested legal closer (and dream man for women everywhere *Editor’s note). Harvey realizes Mike’s potential even without an official university degree and takes him under his wing as a junior associate at the most successful law firm in New York City. The on screen chemistry between these two is truly what makes the show so incredible, the constant verbal volley seeming effortless. Throw into the mix an arch nemeses hell bent on antagonizing Harvey and a gorgeous female supporting cast, and Suits will definitely have you re-thinking your career choice.
-By: Dave Magee @DavyMagee
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BREAKING BAD
A television show usually gives you a couple things: a good guy, a bad guy and then a bunch of in the middle characters. Once these lines have been drawn, the good guy usually gets your vote. Much like your favorite sports team, you cheer and support the good guy. You’re happy and satisfied when the bad guy loses. But what happens when the good guy becomes the bad guy? That question is why Breaking Bad is the best TV show going. Breaking Bad is revelatory and frustrating, sweet and sour, a show that leaves you stunned and surprised. Walter White, the show’s main character, is scary, impulsive, extremely smart and at the same time, ruthless. The story is about a struggling high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He turns to a life of crime, in hopes to leave his family with some cash flow once he succumbs to the cancer. Walter White finds himself in a particular business relationship, cooking and distributing methamphetamine (METH). The evolution of a family man turned into a drug lord is something rarely seen on TV. With more twist and spins than a Walt Disney roller coaster, you can’t tell what the next episode will bring. The show where enemies become allies, where nobody is safe. After becoming the best cook in all of New Mexico, Walt finds himself on the top of the drug world, with a kill list longer than Honey Boo Boo’s grocery list. But, Walter White always finds a way. By any means necessary, he never quits, never surrenders and most importantly, this high school teacher turned Al-Pacino drug boss, never loses. The villain always finds a way to become the hero. You’ll be left with more mixed feelings than a high school prom date. This show will have you buzzing all week. Sunday nights will become a ritual, anything else will be put on the backburner. Weddings, family dinners, date nights, they simply won’t happen when Breaking Bad is on television. So grab some snacks, grab a chair and kick back. No more predicable endings, no more polished good guys, just a man on mission. Welcome to the church of Heisenberg. Enjoy!
-By: Daniel Charbonneau @DanCharbs
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So there you have it, folks. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a busy afternoon. I need to quit two jobs and clear my schedule. Looks like I have about a thousand hours of television to watch … in a nutshell.
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